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10.07.2006 why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?can we say... LONG-WINDED???is it alright? the reprieve from sorrow, pain, & distortion that enables me to be is you. i have a real love somewhere inside me where is it?? i'm unsure if i know myself -OR- the things i want hate it OR love it i'm learning to embrace myself as i am as i want to be as i need to be as i'm going to be be am be, am. he told me to get my shit together as much as i love him can i get enough of him? am i willing to chnage for him? am i willing to allow myself to fall into... THE fall into the abyss of lovelessness? i lovw him more than i love myself i have tried so hard to find him in so many other places there is none other the only thing i want is him. every song up or down hate or love wrong or right sings his name i want to be the best for him i want to be a better person because of him but how can a man be cold to a woman that loves him most? there is never an "i love you" a surprise an action of endearment i'm growing tired my love is exhausted lost in the wind my desire to do meaningless things my craving to let go my love for him ... "a love that tears you down ain't really love" & let me be the first to say i'm broken broken down about as far as far as i can go false hope keeping my head afloat solely let me drown in my sorrow & begin anew anew ... i love you but i'm learning to love myself too when i say i found my everything in you it doesn't mean you complete me you just you are just my support i need you in my life regardless of the capacity you help me want to be better to strive but after all this striving & thriving pushing & pulling wanting & giving will you be here as i crave you? my biggest fear: watching you go your back turned on me AGAIN internal screams of "don't go" audible cries of "wait" physical actions ignored requests declined so... what am i waiting for? what i have i done in this life or another to deserve this pain? something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... love lost hurt worst than this? is it better to have loved & lost OR never to have loved at all? the pain of having your heart ripped from your soul OR the empty portion of your being always being unfufilleded lost lost, lost, lost. dammit. *end trans* Labels: verse |
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some things just [ARE]. in the heart of me
who i am can you tell me who i am???
components of my world life.
MOOD the TWITT... not twit CURRENT MOON PURGE
...upon a star
i've made it this far love is blind... and other shit you just need contacts for 01.2004 flesh is weak
behind it all [e-mail] ignonomous@gmail.com
you are NOT alone |
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the questions...
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izM :: est. 1984
in relation to... the with promises to keep while on the road... |